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Making Mudpies With the Past and the Future

by Brittany Ann on September 14, 2016

It’s been 2014 since I’ve written here: my special place, where I can discuss anything, especially Mother-Daughter sexual abuse. In the mean time, I have received a lot of very personal comments from visitors, and I thank you for still reading and still putting in the time to comment while I wasn’t active.


I recently heard a song that lit me up. It brought back how freeing it felt to convey my feelings here with you. It brought back what a gift motherhood is, and what disgust it is when it is perverted- in all the ways.

Since 2014, my daughter has grown and is 6 years old. She’s learning to read and write. But what if she came home to a mother who taught her a model of molestation? What if she overheard her mom and her papa screaming at each other every night, and she had a secret, but she couldn’t even tell him. These things sicken me. Molestation, secret keeping, domestic violence. What if I sent her off to school with harsh words that never said she was pretty today, or that is quite the outfit you’ve picked out today!

There are countless numbers of children who are hiding their secrets.

My grown-up secret is that I miss my mother and never want to say “Goodbye,” even though we haven’t talked in years, my choice. One day, we’ll all be far enough in our healing to know that we’d sooner be honored by missing the garbage when the trash bin is picked up every Wednesday.

I honor you all in where you are in your healing. I honor your choice to either talk to your mother or disconnect from her in your life. I’ve been in both of those places.

“All you had to offer was a promise of a lifetime of love…”

If only that’s all she had offered.

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