Are you thinking about ending contact with an abuser? Have you already done it but you feel really emotional right now? I understand.
5 years later after contact ended, I’m thankful that hearts always mend.
When your therapist tells you that this will get easier, that you made a strong choice, listen. Of course, listen to yourself right now, your needs right now.
I’ve settled myself down with everything from a pint of ice cream to another letter to the abuser. It’s easy to do that when parents are abusers. We have an attitude that they will naturally, eventually be “sorry.” I’ve always imagined that my mother would change and we would be able to go shopping at the mall together. I can’t say that my mother would “get better,” because I believe the abuser has a choice and its not an illness. A choice to act out one’s perversions, that is.
But now I hear the quiet chords, the melody, I can sing in my car again. I have to be honest, I’ve not used a therapist for much of this. I am one of those who feels re-traumatized by therapy.
It’s inspiring to hear how you all handle healing. There are the writers, the painters, those who hold their jobs well and are kicking ass at it, those who listen and volunteer where they can.
I’ve been one to dig myself into my job, but now that I’ve decided that I have to leave it, you are reading the words of someone who lost a coping skill.
May we always seek to have a back-up plan until the heart can heal.
Note about the image: It spoke to me concerning this post. I am not religious and I know that you might not be.